Computer crashed this morning, but I'm popping in this afternoon to show you my 2016 video! "Didn't we just LOOK at one of your goddamned videos, June?" You did, but that celebrated the last 10 years. Look, it's a lot... Read more →
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Computer crashed this morning, but I'm popping in this afternoon to show you my 2016 video! "Didn't we just LOOK at one of your goddamned videos, June?" You did, but that celebrated the last 10 years. Look, it's a lot... Read more →
01:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (36)
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When that stupid alarm goes off, here's what I usually do: My phone is often charging next to me, so I can get brain cancer or whatever later in life. I like to ensure my future. So I grab the... Read more →
08:10 AM in ...friend/Ned, Aging ungracefully, My pets | Permalink | Comments (41)
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Do you know what it means to flounce? People have done it here a few times: It's when something on the Internet bugs you, and instead of just not returning the site anymore, you announce to the group at large... Read more →
09:28 AM in Current Affairs, Death, I hate everything | Permalink | Comments (30)
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I thought of writing you during actual Christmas, but I figured you had enough to do without checking in on my ass. So here's how Christmas went, and I'm sure you're pulling the chair in closer so you don't miss... Read more →
08:20 AM in In the kitchen with June, June doesn't know any ugly people, My pets, Neighbors of June | Permalink | Comments (35)
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Hi! [Breezes in, opens your cookie jar.] This is it? God. Yesterday morning my damn computer kept spooling at me and groaning and waving a hanky and basically my computer was Ashley Wilkes, neglecting the wood stack and gazing at... Read more →
11:09 AM in Chicken | Permalink | Comments (32)
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Now, THIS is a Christmas mug. I've forgotten to assault you with images of my Xmas cups this year, and for that your life is sad, I know. I also forgot to close the door to Steely Dan's feeding area... Read more →
08:51 AM in I hate everything | Permalink | Comments (105)
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It's been five weeks since my last root dying (bless me, Father, for I have sinned) and if you're anything like me (God help you) (very God-y post today), you know how THAT is. Roots for days. And because it's... Read more →
08:31 AM in ...friend/Ned, Aging ungracefully, I hate everything | Permalink | Comments (52)
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Yesterday was ridiculously chilly, and I barely wanted to reach outside to get the mail or to throw out the dog bed SD peed on, and now today it's warm and windy and quite lovely. Also, I've become my grandmother.... Read more →
11:11 AM in I hate everything, June can't keep a man | Permalink | Comments (38)
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I made it all week on my remaining $10, and then payday came and hello mortgage, but still, we got Christmas bonuses this year and you guys donated $10 apiece to celebrate my 10 years of blogging (oh, did you... Read more →
08:17 AM in Aging ungracefully, Beauty products, Family, Hair | Permalink | Comments (75)
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Today is the 10-year anniversary of me blogging, and I am certain you are delighted that day is finally upon us, as you are sick to death of my shit. (These are pictures I found when I Googled byebyepie +... Read more →
08:09 AM in Faithful Readers, I am a pleasure of life | Permalink | Comments (119)
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I'm just now forming the thought that all this time I've been feeding Steely Dan too much. I thought he was much younger, and those oh-so-easy-to-read instructions on his canned food said to feed him three times a day. But... Read more →
08:03 AM in Aging ungracefully, My pets, Proofreading/Copy editing, Television, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (59)
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June reflects. Cause she's shiny. There's a fine line between telling the truth as much as you can on a blog, which I try to do, and exposing someone else's story. Just because you choose to tell all your shit... Read more →
08:15 AM in ...friend/Ned, Film, June can't keep a man | Permalink | Comments (79)
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Why does Edsel have to go outside and bark bark bark? The neighbors must hate me. Can't he just enjoy outdoors? Sniff a rock and survey his domain in silence, the way Tallulah did? But no. Instead, he tears over... Read more →
07:52 AM in ...friend/Ned, Music, My pets | Permalink | Comments (42)
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Till Christmas, I will keep this post pinned to the top of my blog, which means you have to scroll down every day to get that day's new post. Say "post" one more time. We do good deeds in December... Read more →
07:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (111)
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"Oh, good. It's that time of year that June makes us look at her daily Christmas cup. And also at the makeup smudges on her desk." And her beaming-up dog. Yesterday was Tallulah's birthday, but I tried not to dwell... Read more →
07:56 AM in ...friend/Ned, Aging ungracefully, Fuck natural, I am a pleasure of life | Permalink | Comments (62)
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Oh my god, hi. {flumps coat and purse in booth} I've been so busy that I haven't even had time to write you. {looks at menu} What we havin'? Are we havin' nachos? Because you know I want nachos. I... Read more →
08:22 AM in Busy busy busy busy. Thank heavens for Angie's List. | Permalink | Comments (32)
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There's a new guy at work, and they put him next to me because clearly they loathe him, and I was reading your most-hated Christmas songs yesterday and laughing out loud. Ell Oh Ell-ing, as they say. And by "they"... Read more →
08:31 AM in ...friend/Ned | Permalink | Comments (54)
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Okay, this isn't nearly as dirty of a post as my title made it seem. However, two of the young hot blonde Alexes came over--and, again, this is not a dirty post. But they did come over; I never thought... Read more →
08:20 AM in Drag Queen envy, Friends | Permalink | Comments (92)
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