Till Christmas, I will keep this post pinned to the top of my blog, which means you have to scroll down every day to get that day's new post. Say "post" one more time.
We do good deeds in December around these parts, and the very best deed you can do for me is to not refer to them as RAoKs. Every year for eight or nine years I've called them "good deeds," and every year it segues into being called "RAoKs" (which stands for random acts of kindness, and for some reason the part where people are throwing around the word "random" gets on my nerves. "That's random!" Oh, shut up) and then I get angina and die.
So, yeah, kindness.
We used to pair up, so Sadie and Tee, for example, would be RAoK friends--see what I did there?--so that Sadie would be obligated to Tee to get her kind deed done. But that got to be a pain in my ASS and we don't pair people up anymore.
So, yeah, kindness.
The point is, go forth, RANDOM reader, and do something nice this season, or do 62 nice things, whatever, and come back and tell us about it. At some point, some crab apple will get on here and say, "When I do good things, I don't talk about it. I just do it."
Yeah, you're clearly benevolent AF.
The point of telling is to get inspired, and to make other people happy reading about these kind acts. Asshole.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
It doesn't have to cost a cent. For example, the night of my work party, I ran to Rite Aid to get tanning lotion, and I found this new Sally Hansen mouse kind that I'm pretty happy with, except THIRTEEN DOLLARS, geez, and then I saw my Taylor Swift perfume, and I'm sorry that I like Taylor Swift perfume. I didn't mean to; my father sent it as a joke once and I got hooked. I ran out ages ago, and even Ned has been all, "Whatever happened to your Taylor Swift perfume? It was great. Where can I buy you some?" and I was all, I don't know, the Teen Girls Are Annoying Store, most likely located in an annoying mall near you?
Oh my god anyway.
I ended up having a ton of stuff to buy, and I let the buying-one-small-item woman behind me go ahead of me in line. Turns out of course she wanted to use her goddamn discount card, and said, "Now I suppose you expect me to find it," and then she did this TREASURE HUNT through the small Egyptian city located inside her PURSE, and I have no idea why Egyptian. So then I wished her dead and embalmed in a pyramid, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
So, yeah, kindness.
Tell us in the comments what YOUR good deed is, and try not to drone on the way I have here, and in turn we'll all run out and do our own nice things that we will not refer to as RAoK. Donate your old towels to an animal shelter. Spend time with people in a nursing home. Put coins in all the parking meters. Shovel your neighbor's walk. Just whatever.
Also, not being mean does not count as a kindness. "Didn't punch my smug sister" does not count.
Okay, go be kind! That's random!
