Bye Bye, Pie!

Ask June Anything Day

I had a migraine this morning, so I took a pill and lay back down, waiting for it to work. Edsel spent that whole time with his head pressed against me, wiggling ecstatically. Restful. Since I'm running late, let's have... Read more →

The one where we're all sorry we had freaking question day 264 days ago.

I may or may not have given Lu a Tostito the other day. Behold her crunchy face. She wants you all to know she is delighted that such a flattering photo is going on the Internet. Lu is not allowed... Read more →

More of your questions answered. Good gravy.

On Saturday, I had Ask June Anything Day, and yesterday I started answering the many pressing questions of your time. On today, I will answer more. Yes, I just said "on today." Mary Ellen from Napa asked, Do you think... Read more →

Your questions answered. My textbook procrastinated.

A real grownup, such as, say, my stepfather, would have gotten up early and done today's statistics textbook proofreading already. However, hello. Have we met? I stayed up till 1:30 and just crawled out of bed. Now I'm blogging at... Read more →

Ask June Anything Day

I spent much of last night working on my statistics textbook, and I am doing so again today. I can't even remember what I charge these people, but I keep adding up what I at least must be making so... Read more →

Your dog is not a person. But she does leave photo captions.

This morning I woke up and felt like I was getting a cold. "You realize you're always getting a cold, right?" asked Ned. I AM NOT! Okay, maybe I kind of always am. BUT THIS TIME IT'S REAL. Anyway, today... Read more →

Probe June

My new iPhone will not make phone calls. Which, I know everyone forgets that smartphones are supposed to be PHONES for making CALLS, but that's what smartphones are. Just a little reminder from June. And I actually call people, still.... Read more →

Ask June. Old School.

Am 100% totally late because of Ned. We have a busy day planned: Tonight we're going to a Scrabble tournament with Marty Martin and Kayeeee, because nerds. Then at 10:30 tonight, the Louis CK show comes back on, and I... Read more →

June manages her lunch.

This morning, I alerted you that I was running late, for a change, because I embrace the morning, and I asked you what I should write about when I come home at lunch. I was expecting more: "Write about THIS... Read more →

Will you look at the TIME?

I am running horrifically late, a fact I blame on Ned and his alluringness. So because I have to be at work in SEVEN MINUTES and here I am blogging, let's have a Very Special Episode of Bye Bye, Pie.... Read more →

June tells you about bad dates and marrying her friend Tank

In case anyone is worried sick, I'm on page 198 of that statistics book. Only 102 more pages left! Oh, and could someone stab me in the head? Thanks. However, I have returned to address more of your "Here's what... Read more →

Ask Dick Whitman's Mom

Some of you who've been around this stupid blog for some time may remember a feature I had on Fridays called Ask June. You'd, you know, ask me things and I'd answer them. I forget why we stopped doing it;... Read more →

Ask June. Back and better than ever.

Really, it's kind of the same and not better than ever. I just wanted to be honest with you. But hey, before we begin, let's throw in the Obligatory Henry Shot: Who's my little fuzzy kitten head? Who is nice... Read more →

Saturday (horn) in the park (horn) I think we'd better get to Ask Junnne (horn horn horn horn)

We are mixing it up this week, having Ask June on Saturday instead of Friday. Ask June likes to keep things wild and unpredictable. I know your teeth are vibrating. Also plus, Ask June, her spouse, and her dog are... Read more →

Hey, June, what's shakin'? (Or, I'd rather be blogging)

I saw a really good bumper sticker on a car today. It read, "I'd rather be driving." Then below that was the name of some zen center near here. Okay, I love this bumper sticker. I have always been sort... Read more →

Query June

When I got home tonight, I fell onto the couch and had me a big nap, a nap that involved Tallulah similarly sleeping, on my head. When I got up and remembered we had to Ask June tonight, I headed... Read more →

Ask June 612: The Revenge of Michael Meyers

Can you tell I am running out of things to call Ask June? I mean, every Friday I am supposed to come up with a new name for Ask June. Does anyone have any good ideas? And speaking of good... Read more →

Bug June with your queries

Ask June is just joshing you with her title. She likes your Ask June Questions. You know what she was thinking? She was thinking maybe you could ask some personal-woe types of questions. Do you have any relationship issues, money... Read more →

Ask June, Part 972

Our neighbor, Peg, bought this little toy for Henry, and could he be more obsessed with it? It's nice, though, because I have been afraid to buy him little mice or balls, lest they end up in Tallulah's gullet. Since... Read more →

Ask June, and her sort of trampy shirt

Do you think this shirt is a little snug? Am I going to the Harper Valley PTA, or what? This is what I wore to the dance recital the other night. Since then I have been wearing a robe, as... Read more →

Ask Irritated June

Remember back in December when I started this cockamamie Ask June idea, and I told you all to direct your questions back at the original post from December? Do you have any idea how many &$##&@ questions were back at... Read more →

Ask Henry and June. Hey, wasn't that a dirty book by Anais Nin?

One of us has the cute hair. I will not name names. One of us has hair shaped like Prince Valiant. I do not know what to tell you. Let's valiantly page June and see what questions she'll answer for... Read more →

Ask June, special holiday edition

Yes, it's true. Ask June even works on Easter, bringing you all that funnyness eggs-actly when you need it most, at the end of your long holiday. That is, if you celebrate Easter. June does not wish to exclude. Marvin... Read more →

Ask Francis, and also June

I thought my cat Francis and I could sort of team up today for Ask June. Didn't Ann Landers team up with one of her daughters toward the end, there, when she was gettin' old? Em-Cat, who is sort of... Read more →

Ask June, because apparently she thinks quite a bit of herself

In case you didn't read it on the front page of your local paper, I am narcissistic. See my post from earlier today if you are baffled. Although if you have read this blog for seven seconds, I don't know... Read more →

Ask June's Hair

It is rainy today in Greensboro. Can you tell? Someone at work asked if I was doing my General Custer impression. Everyone's a comedian. I told him I was from Little Big Hair. So, above is my hair. Below is... Read more →

Ask June, Quad Eight

In my hometown, they opened the first multiplex cinema in the 1970s. It had four theaters, so they named it The Quad. I remember my father and mother and me driving out there before it opened, because my father had... Read more →

Inquire of June

Really, I've been bristling with excitement to get to Ask June. Let's whisk ourselves off to the first question. Nosey...Picker? asks, "What is the single grossest thing you have ever done?" Nosey, I have been thinking about this one since... Read more →

Ask June, and her little dog, too

Holy mackerel, Friday came and went and I forgot all about Ask June. I blame Patrick Swayze. Before I begin, let me thank those of you writing in to ask about Francis, particularly my mother-in-law, who seems to think asking... Read more →

Ask June III: Revenge of the Sith

Well, it's Friday, and you know what that means. For me, it means I'm really discombobulated, because I had yesterday off, so yesterday felt like Saturday, then today felt like Monday, but then I have tomorrow off again so I... Read more →

Ask June Part Two, Electric Boogaloo

In all the "guess what I got for Christmas" excitement, I slap forgot about it being Friday and therefore Ask June day. Today I went on the random number chooser thingie and chose the following queries. Oh, but before I... Read more →