Bye Bye, Pie!

Facing June Addiction

Yesterday, I got up early to go to the allergy doctor. I hurried around, and tore over there to be on time, and when I got there, right at 8:00? They were closed. I walked up to the door and... Read more →

WHAT?

My friend at work, The Poet, has a birthday on December 31. Which is sort of cool in every way, except for the part where no one cares about you on your birthday. EXCEPT ME. I DID. But then I... Read more →

Oh, good. I get to read about someone's trip.

I hate brunch. There's the part where you're expected to get up, WITH NO FOOD OR COFFEE IN YOU, and head to some crowded restaurant, then wait in a lobby for a hundred minutes. Then always--ALWAYS!!--some asshole party of 10... Read more →

835 Glorious Words

This is my favorite time of year, because, for example, this is the view out my kitchen window. Every hour I spend dicing and sauteing, I see this. I also have a view of this: I accidentally typed "dicking" instead... Read more →

The one where it snows in North Carolina. EVERYBODY PANIC!

Dis offend Edzul dellikit sensibilitys. We had something of a storm. It's not so much how many inches we got, which is the story of MY life, but rather that after it snowed, it then hailed, hailed, the gang was... Read more →

Indian June

Yesterday was very international. We had a lunch made for us by the Spanish team that was delicious. Then last night, Fleeta and I went to the free fitness thing downtown, where they had Masala Bhangra. I'd never heard of... Read more →

What in the world

Your suggestions are rolling in, not literally because how could a suggestion literally roll in, of which posts I should put in a book. They've ranged from you sending 20 from one month (Slutty Pancakes) to just one or two.... Read more →

Mince Words with Joooon: Forver by Judy Blume

The last time I read Forever by Judy Blume, I was in 6th grade and owned a shockingly complete collection of Bonne Bell Lip Smackers, the best being--if you ask me--Piece of Cake, which tasted like wedding cake. If I... Read more →

I really wanted to show you a picture of "Ralph"

Don't forget that tonight, 7 p.m. Eastern time, we will meet back here to discuss the hard-hitting tome Forever, by Judy Blume. Bring dirty-sounding '70s food: Tang, ManHandler soup, and maybe some Freshen-Up gum. Read more →

Meet Ralph

The Sunday New York Times came today with no wedding section, which is my favorite part. "No, I didn't read the piece on China's faceless masses. I was checking out the lingerie ads." That's from the movie Manhattan, and shut... Read more →

Tallulah Bright and Dark

Is everyone back now? Are you all done ignoring me? Just another reason for me to hate the holidays: Everyone leaves. I blog on and on: Here's what I got for Christmas! Hey, Dick Clark and me, throwing down! Me:... Read more →

CU Now, Tuesday. That never gets old.

Mondays are always my ridiculous day, as I have an hour-long weekly meeting at work right from 4:00 till 5:00, and then I have my my student--for whom I have to make lesson plans--and finally my Purple Clover articles are... Read more →

Took a break from sculpting this David thing to say hi on m'blog

Before I begin to complain about painting my ceilings--and it's just like you're reading Michelangelo's blog--I want to talk about my poor work husband, Ryan. I've shown you his picture before and you all turned into Mrs. Robinson. Ryan (and... Read more →

The one where my dogs deceive me. MY OWN DOGS.

This weekend, Ned and I did absolutely nothing to fix my house up, which we had said we would do every weekend, but basically we both suck. We were planning to paint my fence yesterday, as though we were Tom... Read more →

The somnolent powers of Ned

I finally slept last night, thank GOD. You have no idea how grateful you can be for the mere act of sleeping, if you haven't slept. Or maybe you do. I note a lot of middle-of-the-night-I'm-not-sleeping posts on Facebook. Is... Read more →

Who's this "Karen"?

I am ridiculous. Hello, everyone. It's Monday. and my blown-out hair is starting to look a little ragged. The whole all-straight look is so foreign to my locks, it's like it's fighting to make its wavy self known again. So... Read more →

Hi! Hi! Bye Bye, Pie!

See what I did, there? My roots and I waited till Saturday, when no one would read this, to write my "Here's everything I said I'd eventually come back and blog about" post. Have you actually been sitting here for... Read more →

Took a break from my 488584 hours of proofing to read this in a book Ned gave me

Read this, and you will say, "June isn't funny at all. She stole everything from Nora Ephron." And then you will read everything that woman ever wrote, as I have, and never come back here again. I deserve that. http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/10/11/101011fa_fact_ephron... Read more →

Has anyone seen where I put my hair glitter?

Wow. That blonde chick wearing the dress I wore to prom in 1983? Digging the mom hair. I guess this was before they insisted that actually hot girls be in videos. And what I like about Rick James is his... Read more →

At the Gate, by Myla Jo Closser

I'm in this weekly book club thing; this guy emails short stories to me along with 9494934 other people. I didn't have anything to do today so I read this one, which came weeks ago. Oh, read it! You will... Read more →

Mince Words with June: The Thorn Birds. A book in which we're all supposed to get excited about a priest named Ralph.

Like everybody else in tarnation, I read The Thorn Birds by Colleen What's-Her-Name (I can't find the damn book. Why the hell do I put my books on the shelf by color? What the SHIT is wrong with me? It's... Read more →

Life Story

The other day, Ned and I were talking about going to the library when we were kids, and we are a scorchingly fascinating couple. Ned was, like, a real boy, who played outside all day and participated in sports and... Read more →

Ned, Dick Whitman, Hulk, and some gay man

I didn't blog yesterday because I wasn't in the mood. Oh, but here are two family pictures I didn't include in my last impressive post. The reason I missed them in my email is because they didn't include the words... Read more →

Blame Carol

Faithful Reader Carol in Bama sent me a box of books to read on the plane that I'm not on. I opened the box yesterday, and after unpacking my went-nowhere bag, I sat down and started one of the books.... Read more →

Shaft. Can you dig it?

In the once-again completely linear and never remotely ludicrous comments, we have decided to either call ...friend Ned Nickerson or Shaft. Dudes, just read the comments. No way am I going through an archaeological dig to tell you the genesis... Read more →

Brief. Because June gots work to do and you know how she organizes her time wisely.

Thank you all for your insightful questions for Dick Whitman's mom. I mean, thank you to everyone but Hulk and Furry Godmother, who were on the same page, for once, and that page was ludicrous. Yesterday I showed you old... Read more →

Okay, SERIOUSLY no time today

Went to the BookUp again last night. May or may not have gone with ...friend. May or may not have stayed out too late. May or may not have LOOMING DEADLINE. This may or may not be my pal Jo... Read more →

A post about everything and nothing. Aka what else is new.

I just got back from having dinner with The Other June, and I am writing this before I go to bed. I have a dentist appointment early Thursday morning, so I am writing my post at night, and let me... Read more →

Barnum and Gallo and the Spare Oom

I think I'm depressed. I came home last night and went into the spare room where the kitten lives--which is not to be confused with the Spare Omm in the War Drobe from The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe--and... Read more →

Mince Words with June: Only Time Will Tell by Jeffrey Archer

I wanted to like this book. Because it's the first of a series, and then I'd have a whole series to look forward to and so forth. But oh, this book was not good. And sadly, I could not put... Read more →

In which June might bring up her vitamin D and iron levels once or twice

Am writing you on Thursday night. Edsel is outside barking endlessly at nothing, a thing which I am certain pleases the neighbors and endears us to them all. Usually when he does this I get up and make him come... Read more →