Bye Bye, Pie!

byebyepie + 10

Today is the 10-year anniversary of me blogging, and I am certain you are delighted that day is finally upon us, as you are sick to death of my shit. (These are pictures I found when I Googled byebyepie +... Read more →

Age/state/sex/kids/sass/crunch.

Yesterday, I got interviewed about my writing, because hashtag SoFamous, and the interviewer (pfft. My coworker, Austin) asked me about the "sassy Midwestern moms" who read my blog. Hunh. "Actually, I'm big in Texas and Florida," I told him. And... Read more →

Our Lady of Perpetual Calendars

I'm having some Greek honey yogurt with some almonds, and every time I eat Greek yogurt I feel like I'm eating just a teensy piece of Faithful Greek Reader Fay. Look how this blog has affected my life. When we... Read more →

The one where June has the BEST READERS, even if they do give advice

I haven't been here in ages and now I have 296 things to tell you. On Tuesday, TypePad was down and I could not post and I was SO MAD, because I wanted to tell you something SO COOL and... Read more →

The state of things

You know what's gonna happen today? No one will comment. That always happens after a 200- or 300-comment day; it's like you're all so exhausted. "Oh my god, I just wrote 15 words to June yesterday. I'm all in." Did... Read more →

Served by Mr. Salty and Buddha

There're a brief few days every spring where Peg's dogwood meets my redbud across our driveways, kind of a Hands Across America of blossoms, and it's so pretty, but it's been so cloudy that I wasn't able to capture it... Read more →

The one where June convinces self that 2016 will be HER YEAR! The one where June does that every year, and look how 2015 turned out.

Here we are, at the end of this damn year. On New Year's Eve of last year, Ned and I got into a fight, and I spent the entire night in my room, crying, with a bottle of wine. I... Read more →

June will not say something tired like haters gonna hate.

Good hair day yesterday. ...Oh, look. A pet in the background. I've been blogging now for nigh on nine years. I have no idea what "nigh on" means. Does it mean "almost"? Because that would be inaccurate; it's now more... Read more →

June's end-of-the-year video

In order to avoid proofreading my statistics textbook, I made this end-of-year video this weekend, as I am wont to do at the end of every year. But I just noticed 24 people have already looked at it on YouTube,... Read more →

Mrs. Paul's Fish Sticks. Does Yours?

Angry selfie I'm living on the idea that you're regularly consulting your June's Calendar of Events, and therefore you are completely aware that all month, I've been staying at Kaye's house, and Kaye has, in fact, not been here. Unless... Read more →

She wants to TALK, June said, like that was the worst thing on earth.

The controversial paper towels. I cannot believe how long you people can discuss a thing, in the comments. Anyway, here are the pretty paper towels Ned bought to seduce the ladies, and it's workin' on ME anyway, because every spill... Read more →

In which June starts comparing herself to Frida, which means she has really lost it

A faithful reader sent me a poem that allegedly Frida Kahlo wrote--I did not confirm that part. Here: "leaving is not enough; you must stay gone. train your heart like a dog. change the locks even on the house he’s... Read more →

Your rotten personalities revealed

It is almost 10 o'clock at night and I'm at work, still. I'll be here forever, I am not even kidding you, so I decided to tally and report your answers from the personality test I gave you while I'm... Read more →

What stupid, horrific personality do YOU have?

Today we're all gonna take a personality test and report the results here. I will tell you what you all said tomorrow. Please answer me by 9 p.m. Eastern time today. Google "What time is it in Eastern time?" if... Read more →

Comment drama, and dog drama too. Plus, a migraine!

Yesterday's comment section was most dramatic. I got a migraine, and did not check them all night, so when I got up this morning, I was all... Yesterday, I asked you what you wish your significant other was doing that... Read more →

Sandy Schwinkendorf, and other faithful readers

You know how I enjoy the phrase "as you may or may not know," because it's so useful. But as you may or may not know, some years back, a reader created a Facebook page for fans of this blog.... Read more →

Beaches. But not in a Barbara Hershey's dead kinda way.

Did you miss me? Have you been holding a vigil? Did I ever tell you about when my friend Dot and I went to see Snow White? This was in college, when we were not at all full of ourselves... Read more →

Probe June

My new iPhone will not make phone calls. Which, I know everyone forgets that smartphones are supposed to be PHONES for making CALLS, but that's what smartphones are. Just a little reminder from June. And I actually call people, still.... Read more →

A brilliant idea that I will take full credit for

I was just in the break room discussing how I want to turn this blog into a book, and how this weekend I started reading posts from 2011 and planned to set aside any that were funny. But I must... Read more →

Sandra Dee O A

Yesterday we had a contest to name the disgusting nail polish color I got during this past unfortunate manicure. Maybe I could have named it Focus. Anyway, the winner is... Silly Putty Fuddy Duddy, thought up by Deb, Who is... Read more →

Sleigh Bells Ring, They're Annoying

My hatred for this holiday has not improved one iota since I experienced World's Busiest Day at Work yesterday ohmygod. We got out of work early, though, and Ryan came and hung out after, and I know you all envy... Read more →

And THAT is why I don't like Jan

A few weeks ago, I asked you all to give me a story that ended, "And THAT is why I don't like corn." It's an old family joke with Ned's people, in which Ned's brother-in-law just burst out with that... Read more →

Rudolph the Red--Oh, shut up.

(Hey it's June! I wrote this post a few days ago, so if you're reading it now, please note that this page shows only 100 comments at a time. If you want to be in on the good deeds project... Read more →

SHARE IF YOU LOVE V!

One of my male friends emailed me the other day. "I feel like only you would appreciate this," he wrote, sending me a NOT SAFE FOR WORK website. So if you're at work, Ima just tell you. It's a perfume,... Read more →

June is not a good manager of her time. Or money. Or hair. Oh, hell.

If I am running late, we all know who to blame, and his initials are N-E-D. But this time we can also blame my coworkers, who we joined at some sort of pool hall last night, because you know what... Read more →

Hi! Hi! Bye Bye, Pie!

See what I did, there? My roots and I waited till Saturday, when no one would read this, to write my "Here's everything I said I'd eventually come back and blog about" post. Have you actually been sitting here for... Read more →

Nobody puts June in a corner

Let me tell you something. This trying to work a regular job and proofread a statistics book in the meantime AND go to every movie at the old movie theater this month is like to kill me. Last night we... Read more →

You've brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it. I thank you all.

It's the day I can finally tell you my big news. I'm going to write a beauty book. Step one: Always remove eye makeup before bed. Okay, no. But if I ever go missing or you're needing a shot for... Read more →

Picture book. Pictures of your readers, and your real friend Sleeping, a long time ago.

I am on hold with the IRS. It is Wednesday evening and I have been on the phone with them for 40 minutes. Usually I blog in the morning, but as I am hostage, what the heck. I was just... Read more →

The one where June says "toile toile."

Photo (c) Ned's uncle, who by the way is just a lovely person. And his wife and I might as well just merge, because we have the same taste in everything. Look at the bird picture behind me! Isn't it... Read more →

Oh, and who sent me the BB Creme from South Korea? 'Fess up.

I want you to know I did everything I was supposed to yesterday. Here I am drinking water like it's going out of style after giving the dogs a 45-minute walk. And yes, my plantar fasciitis IS killing me today.... Read more →