Bye Bye, Pie!

A fantastic and more fun in the great taste

It's finally nice enough that we can eat outside, and here you can behold Ned's depleted salad. Note he did not really eat the dressing. Good god. Did I go out LOOKING for someone who could make me feel bad... Read more →

Fear the reaper. And maybe eat him.

Because no two people are more boring, Ned and I got into a discussion about the first meal we had together. We couldn't remember what it was. On our first date we met for a drink, and the second we... Read more →

What'cha eatin' under there?

"Let's leave at 6:00, June," said Ned. "That'll give us plenty of time to eat and see the play." Ned and I were going to the theater in Winston-Salem, named the Hanesbrand Theater, and Dear Hanes People: Get over your... Read more →

Typhoid June

Woke up in the middle of the night with a stomach thing. Seeing as I just got back from vacation a week ago, I'm dragging self into work to spread disease to others. Go, me! Actually, I assume it's something... Read more →

As I was saying, before we were so rudely interrupted by work and life...

You know, before I got back from vacation (a reader asked me to never say "vacay," so I will not), I made a vow I was not going to fill up my week with something to do every damn night,... Read more →

The one where June links to recipies, as she does

Other than the part where I own less of my finger than I might have liked, dinner went fine. And by the way, it hurts like hell to type, and I don't want you to feel bad for me, or... Read more →

Pink and blue and mango

I just woke up, having slept nine hours. I had to recover from that one-day workweek. I put in seven and a half hours this week. I know. It's insane. I gotta knock it off, get some balance in my... Read more →

Ban de Soliel, for the Saginaw tan

Well, it's back to work today. My water and I are back to work. By the way, I still look completely the same. It's day five! Shouldn't I be miraculously young-looking and incredibly hydrated by now? Instant gratification takes too... Read more →

In which Marilyn Monroe is compared to a nut

Last night, there was an enormous spider on Ned's wall. It was a major spider. You can imagine my manly response. Ned got rid of it, and agreed it was a giant spider. "I think he was suicidal. He didn't... Read more →

Juneshana

In my continued attempts at thin-nity, I am trying to eat only half a bagel today. This is criminal. I am also eating reduced-fat cream cheese and an antique tomato, as Ned would call it. Once he was getting food,... Read more →

Ned does not really wear an orange caftan. I can just see some yahoo taking that seriously.

This weekend, Ned and I schlepped to see his mom, who lives at the beach, which is not too shabby. Ned and his mom stayed up talking till 2:00 in the morning on Friday, and his entire family must think... Read more →

You got a fast...fast

This morning I am fasting, because I seek spiritual enlightenment. Or, alternatively, they are doing medical testing on us at work to see if we are dying. It's a whole insurance thing. Remember when I did this a few years... Read more →

The thing is, the line, "That bootie talkin' to me" is never part of my lexicon.

I hate to think of myself as someone who has only white, college-educated friends (the same as me), but mostly I have white, college-educated friends. I guess that happens, right? You end up making friends mostly with people of the... Read more →

I got 99 problems and a fish ain't one

I've had a riveting Saturday so far that has consisted of paying bills and making up a lesson plan for my new student, as part of the literacy volunteering I am doing. I have met the person I'll be tutoring,... Read more →

My October, by June Gardens. Or 10, by June Gardens. A month and June's rating.

I just did the thing where I opened my picture file on my desktop and looked through October's pictures, and I'd like to thank the nice people at Apple or wherever who came up with the idea, Hey! Let's put... Read more →

Big Fat Fattie asks you about cereal

I have the hiccups, which is a delightful feeling that I hope lasts all day. Once I was at a party and got those really painful hiccups, and this woman--who let's just say made the rockin' world go round--had me... Read more →

Dinner, night deux

The grill broke completely, we had to get more blue corn chips because I ate them all in between Saturday and Sunday nights' dinners, and the recipe I downloaded for raspberry balsamic vinegar was great if you like dressing that... Read more →

Simple-storyteller June

So, get all four pair of glasses, then, because they're all working for me. Was that the general consensus? I tried to leave a comment last night saying, OKAY! I GET IT! STOP! I WON'T GET THE GLASSES! But of... Read more →

Settle a debate between Ned and me

Whopper or Big Mac? Read more →

In which June has to find someone named Fernando

Tallulah is limping and licking her foot, and I DO NOT HAVE TIME for this today. So far I've looked at it and as usual saw nothing and why do I bother, and also I've kissed her head and called... Read more →

White Bread

I have to dash out the door to get my car fixed, because I broke both my side mirrors. Yes, I did. I ran into the driver's side mirror with the garbage can when I was dragging said can to... Read more →

Bite 'em Drink 'em Chew 'em

I am home only briefly, as Ned and I are going to lie by his pool, because we're not aged enough, then go to dinner. Last night I MADE dinner, and I guess I should have warned you before I... Read more →

In which Ned, who doesn't cook, said, "Let's cook!" to June. Who doesn't cook.

The holiday weekend yawned before us, and Ned, who enjoys food and eating and talking about food and eating and perusing menus to decide what to eat and then discussing it, said, "We should grill out at your house." I... Read more →

Pour some sugar on me

I felt a little headachy when I woke up today, AND THAT ANNOYS ME, since I'm, you know, desugaring and all. In fact, I may have to abort the eat-no-sugar plan for now. I KNOW. But listen. After paying my... Read more →

Mostly food. That's what this one is about. Food. I'm kind of like Tallulah right now. You gots food?

Since yesterday I was so busy showering you with more pictures of your own selves, I didn't get a chance to tell you the myriad things that're new, and by "myriad" I mean two. First of all, Ned has insisted... Read more →

Thirty effing ith

I wish I could begin to tell you how happy it makes me to announce I am DONE WITH ALL FREELANCE WORK as of 10 minutes ago. Aaaaand I finally got the certificates and stuff from our fine U.S. government... Read more →

The big reVEAL. Totally cracked self up with that one.

It's Wednesday night and I'm writing this now, because I have a screamingly busy day Thursday. Because I will be home not at all, really, I have to leave early tomorrow to take the dogs to daycare. In case anyone... Read more →

In the kitchen with June and Ned (aka Do Not Try This at Home)

"There's a Christmas party in my building," said Ned. "It might just be a bunch of old ladies in Christmas sweaters, but I'd like to go," he said, because apparently Ned is into the elderly. I would love to say... Read more →

"They know not if it's dark outside or light."

Can you please tell me what I forgot to pack? Because you know I forgot some such nonsense, as I always do. Usually I get to my destination and I'm all, "Oh, I forgot pants!" Then I walk around like... Read more →

In which Ned returns. And June has a big week of naming her posts "In which."

Last night, my friend Hibiscus Wilson had a fundraiser for animals, and she invited me. Because you may not know this, but when it comes to animals, I am kind of a fan. She had it at her downtown office,... Read more →

Best Crab Cake in Town

This weekend, I was telling Ned the fascinating story of how once I took Faithful Reader Laurie to the train station, and have I mentioned what riveting date I must be? And, because who could get enough of that story,... Read more →