Bye Bye, Pie!

Freelance work is here

For the next week, I will be proofreading a textbook when I'm not at my regularly scheduled job. I will not be here a lot, and also if you know me in real life, I will not be phoning with... Read more →

Joe Lies

I be Hutch. Wear be Starskee? hahahahahaha Anyway. I hadn't had my eyebrows waxed since Wilford Brimley was a child, so I went to Elegant Nail & Tan, which I realize suggests all kinds of featured services that do not... Read more →

What is a "capade," anyway? Are there ever Land Capades?

"Oh, good. It's that time of year that June makes us look at her daily Christmas cup. And also at the makeup smudges on her desk." And her beaming-up dog. Yesterday was Tallulah's birthday, but I tried not to dwell... Read more →

Retro June

Yesterday at work I went back to copy editing. I asked if I could do so some months ago, and they said okay, but you have to wait till we get other editors in here, so I waited, and then... Read more →

House O' Hurr

Yesterday I got my 10,000 steps in, did 35 minutes of Tracy Chapman, and then sat down to watch Real Housewives with a bag of Fritos. And this is why I hate myself. Oh, also I walked Edsel yesterday, and... Read more →

Today I can't think of a title. Post-migraine fog.

I had this snappy plastic lid that I used to cover the other half of Steely Dan's canned food, as he eats half a can at a time. Correction: he WOLFS half a can at a time. There's no trouble... Read more →

June gets on her soapbox

Lemme tell you how Ned has ruined me. In case you wondered, "Gee. How has Ned ruined June?" Today I was in the shower, and please try not to get too distracted by the hotness. Do you know she was... Read more →

Party in a paper

"Did you ever take an actual copyediting class?" my boss asked me, and not in a mean way. We were talking about what we studied in college, and did it have anything to do with what we did for a... Read more →

June Brought the Rose (Gold)

Last night, I got my rose gold color! It'll only last a few weeks, but here it is! I look vaguely like an aging Disney princess. But I like it! It's exciting! Also, I need lip enhancement so bad. Four... Read more →

Everyone's a comedian

I posted last night--I gave some aptitude tests to Lottie that I shared on film. Yes, you really ARE welcome. Scroll down to see. But I gathered you all here today to hear about my severe eye injury. I was... Read more →

June's routine. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9.5, 10...

I had to get up early today, because we had to be, well, on time at work today. The start time at work is 8:30, and once some old biddy asked in a meeting, "What's our start time?" which was... Read more →

Got to go to work early

But at noon Ima show you my BEAUTY ROUTINE!!! I know, right? Read more →

Luncheon with June

Oh, I was sleeping so NICELY this morning. Lottie did her usual waking at 6:00 thing, which we have down to a science. She whines once, I get up, still asleep, walk her outside, she pees, and without saying a... Read more →

What kind of kid were you?

We somehow got into this discussion at work, and it was a good one. Were you the kid who tore out the door at dawn and didn't come back till the streetlights came on? (Ned.) Were you the kid who... Read more →

Windows 9.0

Some mornings, I feed the cats while Iris is still out for her morning constitutional. My theory is she makes her rounds of all the baby nests in the area, patrols for new life and squelches it. Anyway, that was... Read more →

Xeralpholopia

I'm home for lunch. I didn't blop at you this morning because I was up till freaking one in the morning. A, I wasn't tired and 2, I was doing statistics proofreading. So my point is I didn't bound out... Read more →

June talks to you while she does her makeup. Wait. June wears MAKEUP?

I'm all out of sorts today. So what better way to cheer oneself up than to do one's makeup!? I know. Deep. Let's do a day where we watch me do my makeup, and in the meantime I complain at... Read more →

Xanadu, your neon lights will shine

Last night, there was a catfight. Just like that time Crystal and Alexis threw down. Did you note the whish of Iris' tail in these shots? Action shots, by June, wildlife photographer. Lily started it, which she's been doing lately.... Read more →

Literally wearin' the green

Aye! See, I want to talk Irish to you but I keep sounding like a pirate. Ahoy! It's St. Patrick's Day, matey! Arrrrrr! As I told you yesterday, with my cliffhanger headline, my Aunt Mary sent me a box of... Read more →

I don't know if you know that much about life if you think "lifeclass" is one word

Yesterday morning I had to dig in my bathroom trash for the old empty deodorant I'd thrown away, and desperately scrape what was left on myself because guess who forgot to buy more. There goes my mother in my head:... Read more →

Put a little birdhouse in your soul

As you've likely surmised, pretty much every second of my existence in this house involves an animal near me or on me. At this point, I don't even really notice. This morning I was delving through the pile of mail... Read more →