Bye Bye, Pie!

June must think of title. June not feeling it right now. June hits Publish anyway.

I worked till 10:00 last night, on freelance stuff, and my real work was busy yesterday, too, but at one point one of you wrote me. "I left you a tip." "Oh, you did? Wow, thanks!" Eventually, I got over... Read more →

Living like a college student w/out the cute body I had in college

I'm $54 overdrawn in my account, I get paid in TEN DAYS, and I just called Ned to borrow $100. I KNOW. You guys. I cannot keep living like this. If you wanna call that living. Seriously, though, here's how... Read more →

Somebody better put your bag into your place

Yesterday's family stories were hilarious. I knew I'd like them. All day I wanted to tell you my friend Dave's family story, one of 3949493944 of them that he has, but I was doing that pesky work thing, and then... Read more →

Take a survey; control June's life

I haven't wanted to ruin what I'm certain has been a stellar weekend for you, but I've been under the weather. I know. See? I knew your mood would plummet. Turning to your Big Binder of June Events (at this... Read more →

All Thus

Pfft. I thought today I'd categorize the many areas of my life and update you on how they're going. I remember some friend of Ned's said there are five fingers to life, and I'm not going to remember them all.... Read more →

Lily meowed the whole time I wrote this. Annoy.

Having a kitten isn't as much fun as they tell you it's gonna be. I'd like to speak to the manager (swings horseshoe hair). Anyway. Why would you even WANT to attack the paper towel roll? At least it wasn't... Read more →

June. No longer a Bug. Now more of a Mini. A chubby Mini.

When I woke up yesterday, I did not know I'd be buying a car. But there it is. Now my life is officially a country song: the man I loved done left, m'dog died, and my VW Bug up and... Read more →

It turn out, puppies do be annoying

I gotta go in early today, but last night this happened: Also, I think SiriusXM is sort of scammy. I called to cancel day before yesterday, and they said yes, okay, you're canceled as of the 17th. But then on... Read more →

No Need-y, No Buy-y

Do you remember a few days ago, when I said I wanted to get my affairs in order? Not because I'm going to croak, although I do feel a cold coming on. I said I wanted to get better about... Read more →

Xeralpholopia

I'm home for lunch. I didn't blop at you this morning because I was up till freaking one in the morning. A, I wasn't tired and 2, I was doing statistics proofreading. So my point is I didn't bound out... Read more →

Lot's Wife rolls around in the woods, probably gets ticks. Smell that.

Yesterday, someone brought a puppy to work. I knew it right away, because the whole office changed, and there were squeals, and I said to myself, "Please let it be a puppy and not a human baby person." Nike. Way... Read more →

The one where June has too many pets

Last night, after work, one of the Alexes invited me to go to her apartment building to do yoga. I realize it's probably immoral to partake of free yoga when one does not pay rent to live in the building... Read more →

Got a photograph, picture of

Awhile ago, I got an email from my credit card company. Dear Jooooon, it said. The design on your credit card has expired, it said. The design has expired? We could send you a new card with a regular boring... Read more →

As perfectly as possible

I just paid off my car. Just now. Eight seconds ago. And I was so excited to do it, then of course the computer was crawling and it took forever. I like how I've gone, in the last five years,... Read more →

Go on, take the money and run--WOOOOO, DOG!

On Friday night, Ned and I had one teensy modicum of fun; we decided to go to the food truck rodeo before we commenced our pre-garage-sale work. Not that we hadn't been working on that goddamn sale all week. Ned... Read more →

I can't give it away on Seventh Avenue

I cannot wait till tomorrow, when I can go to work and relax. Could not be more exhausted. I will recap this stupendous, took-72-hours,-really yard sale Monday morning; right now all I want to do is collapse with a book... Read more →

June's Bloggy Garage Sale Auction Thing

Since you can't come to my garage sale, I will have one here online. Am auctioning off the iconic orange crate pictures that have been in the background of every stupid computer self-portrait I have ever done. I'm selling them... Read more →

Champing at the but

Several important things must be noted before I talk about our house: 1. My goddamn Delete key is not working on this keyboard, so I must forge ahead, typos and all today, and fuck it. I understand that having my... Read more →

With rudeness, all things are possible

Well, I got paid last night. Checked this morning to make sure the money was in there, then I opened all my bills and added them up. Out of money again. Am I the only one living this way? Because... Read more →

Do you think God CALLS it a poop list, or something sort of more regal?

You know, there are a lot of people God should hate more than me. Zooey Deschanel, for example. But no. I seem to be at the top of the list. Okay, I guess things could be worse. I could be... Read more →

I got 99 problems and a fish ain't one

I've had a riveting Saturday so far that has consisted of paying bills and making up a lesson plan for my new student, as part of the literacy volunteering I am doing. I have met the person I'll be tutoring,... Read more →

Rage Against the Ke$ha

Because I'm sporting my sexy shortie robe, I have spread on this chair the afghan my grandmother knitted for me in 1977. It has a tag on it: Made especially for you, by Grandma. It is the cutest thing. Seeing... Read more →

Cuff and Link

After perusing your comments from the what-bad-food-do-you-like post, I was relieved to see that so many of you like to eat horrific things. I'd hate to be alone in my poor diet. Yesterday I left here early, which you can... Read more →

Wife of a close friend

I am sitting here waiting for Poland to pay me. Do y'all remember when I did freelance work for Poland? If you don't have your Big Calendar of What June Does, which I guess could also be known as this... Read more →

In which June might have had a taste of chocolate

I survived day two without sugar, except for the part where I had something a...trifle sugary. OKAY SUE ME. I ate everything right until after work, when I went to the H&R Block, there, to get my taxes done. Do... Read more →

June Hearts Her 4 4ever

So, this occurred. Y'all. I should not be given nice things. In high school there were these two sisters, and their dad was a dentist, and they told me their mom always said they could have more clothes if they... Read more →

Gale and Dale

Did you enjoy the part where I posted at lunch? I got home and had 29494593959 new Christmas cards, but NO REASSURING LETTER from the mammogram place. Yes, they've told me everything's fine, but if they can't get a LETTER... Read more →

June's even dumber day--visually breathtaking

You know, I haven't had a full-time job since January 31 of this year. Have you noticed that? Have you wondered how the Sam Hill I am getting by? Me, too. And I'll TELL you how--barely. I've given up luxuries... Read more →

Money can't buy you class

I'm June Gardens, and I'm panicked about money. Hiiiii, June. I've been laid off for six months now, and have had lots of work, but in the past month all I've had is one statistics textbook, which you may recall... Read more →

Your favorite unemployed blogger. Well. Technically Pioneer Woman has no job, right? Crap.

FER SALE So yeah. Not so much with me having a job anymore. And I do not want to say anything bad about my workplace, nor do I want you to, because it was strictly financial and they assured me... Read more →

Money, Pinterest, and Tallulah in a flip

Guess who got a new app for her iPhone? It has old photos and then you put your own face in there. Apps. The new way to find yourself looking up seven hours later, going, wait, I'm supposed to be... Read more →