Bye Bye, Pie!

Lime-a-Ritas with Laura Ingalls Wilder

I hate podcasts. I'm SORRY. I'm sure your sister's really is magnificent. I'm sure if I just tried [insert fucking podcast here]...or gave a listen to...or have I heard...? Yeah, no. I'm not going to like any of those, either.... Read more →

Rare. In the bloody way, not the special way.

Do you think of yourself as normal? I have never once, for as long as I can remember, considered myself to be normal. And I'm glad of it, although I haven't always been. I doubt anyone else finds me normal,... Read more →

Moo. Yakety yakety yakety.

Edsel stuck his paw straight up my nose this morning. Managed to get a claw in each nostril, and now m'nose hurts. So I gotta fit a trip to the pound in along with my regular duties. Maybe I could... Read more →

Hand Jumping June

Yesterday was ridik. I had to take my car into the shop, which I think I've told you now 800 times, and you'd think I was taking it in to get it tricked out. You'd think my car was transitioning.... Read more →

Downtown Juney Brown

I got to stay home today, seeing as in a smidgeon of time I will be knocked unconscious and any number of instruments will be crammed down my throat, such as a harp. I will literally be a harpy, finally.... Read more →

You know I hate to complain

Last night I finally showered, at 8 p.m., and I didn't bother to wash my hair. It got a little wet, though, and that with the combination of my curls being in bed all day resulted in it drying into... Read more →

Apres Photoshoot

The photographer came. He was a lovely man, who just got an Australian shepherd puppy named Bo who I saw a picture of and I love Bo so bad. I sneaked in this shot of said photographer in my room;... Read more →

Tallulah Bright and Dark

Is everyone back now? Are you all done ignoring me? Just another reason for me to hate the holidays: Everyone leaves. I blog on and on: Here's what I got for Christmas! Hey, Dick Clark and me, throwing down! Me:... Read more →

June blogs while Ned boils

Ned just told me he'd poach us some eggs, and yes we ARE just getting up at 1:00 in the afternoon, and we are decadent and have I ever mentioned I've never regretted being childless? I did, however, have to... Read more →

I have the feeling Ima be just as annoying in 2015.

It's the end of the year, FYI, and time for my end-of-year veedeo, and you've been around a long time if you know why I say "veedeo." So long, 2014! You weren't all bad. (Click on the white "2014 Be... Read more →

Fashion advice

I overslept, and I have these bags under my eyes that I have NEVER ONCE EVER woken up to. Aging is fantastic. My point is, I need advice. I know. Didn't I say NEVER AGAIN last time? There's always someone... Read more →

June Ruby

I got to get up late today, because I have a doctor's appointment at 9:30. Exciting! And don't get dramatic; I'm not dying of anything. I'm going for my annual RICOLAAAAAAAA! appointment. What a stupid-ass commercial. Last night, Ned and... Read more →

Call me Ishmael, M'lady

Today at work, we're having a photo sesh, because we're revamping the company website. They've asked me to be one of the people posing for said pictures, and in my mind I had us phonily leaning over the conference room... Read more →

The one where I meander and don't get right to the point

It's hard to get used to how FRICKING CLEAN this house is, in anticipation of the people traipsing through to look at everything. I walk into a room and go, "Oh! Crap, it's clean in here." My Uncle Leo used... Read more →

It was the third of June, another sleepy dusty Delta day

I'd like to thank Faithful Reader BStar for reminding me to mention the Billy Jo McAllister song, with which we all became obsessed a few months back. And before I continue, I'd like to ask you, girl, what's happened to... Read more →

Now in fresh, you failed-at-life scent!

Has anyone else noted that the Secret brand has taken over all the deodorants? I am about to run out of my Secret Outlast Completely Clean, which every time I look at that name on my deodorant I think of... Read more →

The one where June gets kind of sad without Ned.

I guess I'm up. I slept terribly. I was kind of afraid this would happen: I was fine all week without Ned, because, I guess, we do have weeknights where we don't see each other. Four weeknights in a row?... Read more →

Hawk Look. Or, Teeth of the Hydra Upon You.

It is Wednesday evening and I am finally trusting Typepad enough to tell you the rest of my Easter weekend, and there I go being insensitive to other religions again. I didn't even CELEBRATE Easter, so I don't know why... Read more →

Beach Bitch

I just wrote something for work, then stampeded over here to blog, and I hope I don't sound corporate due to my work-writing hangover. Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. Let me see if this is actionable;... Read more →

Come on, Precious

I forgot to tell you that when I ran into that little kid the other night from the neighborhood, the kid who used to own Snowflake before his untimely postman-eating demise, she had a question for me. "Do you have... Read more →

I can't even

The rest of the weekend was inexplicable, but don't worry. I will go into excruciating detail tomorrow. In the meantime, what's with my 3-D bosoms? Oh, also? Always use sunscreen. (c) Daniel Boone Photography Read more →

Blinded by the light

Dude. We totally see you. I have a busy day of freelance to catch up on, and guess who is a barrel of laughs? Is it devil-may-care June, over here? After next weekend I'll be done with all this freelance... Read more →

June. Halle Berry. Is there a dif?

Last night, Ned and I got up with Dick Whitman. I mean, what better way to celebrate our sort-of-year anniversary than to hang out with someone I used to date? Okay, but (a) TODAY is our sort-of anniversary, and plus... Read more →

Poison, snow leopards, my vascular system and Nutrish

Honestly, who is sick and tired of her own head? I have had a migraine on and off since DECEMBER 23, and am officially cranky now. I'm writing this at 10:30 at night on Wednesday--although are you all thrown off... Read more →

Gale and Dale

Did you enjoy the part where I posted at lunch? I got home and had 29494593959 new Christmas cards, but NO REASSURING LETTER from the mammogram place. Yes, they've told me everything's fine, but if they can't get a LETTER... Read more →

In which all four pets are shown. You're welcome.

I thought I'd tell you about my day yesterday, as supposedly that's what this blog is about and I really don't often just recap a day. Mostly because that sounds boring. As opposed to The Riveting that is this blog.... Read more →

Party in my pans

This is the first chance I've had to talk to you all weekend, as I have been work work working, then Ned-ing. When he came to get me at NINE-THIRTY last night, because I wasn't done slaving till then, I... Read more →

Freshy prepared royal crown

Did you see they have pictures of poor Kate Middleton topless? Naturally I stampeded right over to them. Because I love her and I admire her, but if there's a chance I can see her beefeaters I am going to... Read more →

In which the word pee-hole is used.

Before I forget, ridiculous book club is tonight! I mean, I already HAD forgotten and some organized person in the comments mentioned it and I was all, oh crap. Anyway, bring your deep thoughts on The Thorn Birds back here... Read more →

Working June checks in

I have to dash, because I have to scream over to my old workplace and fill out some papers before I scream over to my old, old workplace and work. Dude, I know. You think I don't know? Because I... Read more →

Bubble-licious

Ned, despite his love for all movies depressing, is generally a happy kind of person. But yesterday he was in a mood. And that mood was not good. He'd had a stressful week and was not feeling sparkly. ...Nedkitty not... Read more →