Bye Bye, Pie!

Ned sighting

I saw Ned. Fifty-five days I've been alternately avoiding running into him or, on difficult days, hoping I do. Fifty-five days I've been obsessing, and being angry, and then missing him, then feeling determined and OH HELL THIS IS RIDICULOUS.... Read more →

Cats

[Insert song from Cats here. I know of none. Is "Cats in the Cradle" from Cats?] I took this of Lily yesterday when I was playing Blu with Edsel in the back yard. She's really an indoorswoman. Door's wide open... Read more →

June's weekend. With special guest stars: pet photos

My robe sleeves are wet (dishwasher and changing pet bowls) and now I have that pleasurable feeling of receiving teensy kisses from Satan every time I move m'arm. I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever, so let's... Read more →

Pudding?

Would you like to know what annoys me? "Wait. June. Something annoys you?" When people use trite phrases. For example, remember in The Wizard of Oz, when they said, "Lions and tigers and bears--oh, my!" It bugs me when people... Read more →

Stampeding for pasties

Mercury is in retrograde, did you know? That means--and I know this because I lived in LA for 10 years, so I'm an expert in all things weird--that communication gets slowed down or misunderstood or convoluted, somehow. So hree d... Read more →

Vonda Shepherd Mix

Last night I had a dream that I was signing Edsel up for the FetLife website. FetLife is, well, let me look it up because I don't actually know. ...Okay. FetLife is like a dating site for people with fetishes,... Read more →

June holds a kitten. Story at 11:00.

8:06 a.m. I woke up late, and now Faithful Reader Paula is going to feel nervous through this whole post because I have to hurry. I've showered, and selected what I'm wearing, and also I'd like to mention that when... Read more →

Like I blister in the sun

First of all, I answered most of your questions you had yesterday in the comments, and I'll go back after this and answer the rest. I had to work more than I thought I would yesterday, and was unable to... Read more →

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There are two birds singing outside the window, and some sort of low-buzzing bug. Nope, there's a crow. So now it's three kinds of birds. Iris is quietly eating in the kitchen window. There's a plate of homemade wishes on... Read more →

Kitten Report 2016

Ima have to call AppleCare, which always puts me in a sparkling mood, because my computer keeps saying, "Update your iTunes!" so I do, then it says, "Cannot locate your phone." And I'm all IT'S RIGHT HERE UNDERNEATH YOU. IT'S... Read more →

June survives horrific car crash, finds kitten. Story at--well, now.

I was going to hyperbole your hat off telling you about how I survived a car accident, escaping death as only June could do, but something so much more interesting has happened now. So, on Friday afternoon, I was headed... Read more →

June jaunts. Returns. Talks about dogs.

Sunday, 6:53 p.m. I went away this weekend, to celebrate the splendor of me and the date of my birth. Tonight I am home, having just picked up the dogs at their daycare where they summered this weekend. I got... Read more →

June gets a birthday eve eve surprise

Bonne Bell 10:06 Lotion p.m. Let me tell you something. Work has been kicking my ASS this week, and it's not likely to get better anytime soon. So I was really looking forward to leaving work today and heading out... Read more →

Old Limey Checks In

7:05 a.m. (Hah! Remembered!) If you tuned in yesterday, you'll recall, with your sharp precision that knows no bounds, that I said, "I haven't saved the bird yet or seen the muskrat or closed down two more places or gotten... Read more →

June's milkshake brings all the calves to the yard

"Oooo! I know!" I said to my friend. "Let's drive out to the country to that ice cream place, where you can pet cows and eat ice cream they made right there on the spot!" For me, there's a whole... Read more →

Blew chunks and yellow dogs

Lottie had the trow-ups last night, but she's okay today. Did any of you ever read that blog, Blue Skies and Yellow Dogs? She doesn't blog anymore, but she had this hilarious housekeeper who'd leave her long notes, often about... Read more →

The one where June has the BEST READERS, even if they do give advice

I haven't been here in ages and now I have 296 things to tell you. On Tuesday, TypePad was down and I could not post and I was SO MAD, because I wanted to tell you something SO COOL and... Read more →

Have You Bean Assessed?

Today is a very assess-y day. We have our health assessments at work, and as I type you, I have to fast, which is fine because usually at this time I haven't eaten yet, but I have to GO WITHOUT... Read more →

Ben Laden

Yesterday was my five-year anniversary at work. It was just exactly the same as five years ago in that it was May 2nd and it was a Monday. Also, Osama bin Laden is still dead. He'd been killed the night... Read more →

No more puppies, ever

Before I tell you about Edsel attacking the puppy, you gotta promise me you won't hate Edsel. I did. For, like, an hour. I don't know if I've ever been so angry at a dog. But she's fine, and I... Read more →

"Puppies!" June is Cruella DeVille.

What I did yesterday was schlep all the damn-ass way out to the country to look at puppies. As you do. Like, seriously, a long damn-ass drive into the country. But when I finally got there, it was like, Did... Read more →

Stanley Steamer Saga

I had a puppy and now I don't, and I am devastated and it's all my own fault. "Hey, June, I know a woman who's got puppies. They were born under her porch and she raised them and got their... Read more →

Xanadu, your neon lights will shine

Last night, there was a catfight. Just like that time Crystal and Alexis threw down. Did you note the whish of Iris' tail in these shots? Action shots, by June, wildlife photographer. Lily started it, which she's been doing lately.... Read more →

The Saturday that feels like Sunday

If you're a parent, lemme just ask you something hypothetically. Let's say you're, oh, to throw a scenario out there, at Target with your kid on a busy Saturday afternoon. Let's say your kid is crying loudly in the cart,... Read more →

June meets Jackie

I have the most exciting news possible: I have gaybors! I just met them! And by "them" I mean one of the gaybors and his dog. Which is how I met them. And by "them" I mean--okay, I'll stop. I... Read more →

The one where June makes hilarious Presidents Day puns

Edsel doing his sled dog impression. Or his Mushmouth impresh. Whichever. It snowed again, which is very exciting for us here. My work is delayed a crummy hour. Given how much sliding down my street I did last night, I... Read more →

June discusses dogs

I should really get on trying to grow grass under the enormous tree in my back yard. My new lawn guy says if it snows this year, you put seed down then. He said birds won't get to it and... Read more →

The Violet Anniversary

I realized yesterday that it's the anniversary of when I found Violet, and I like how I say "found," like it'd be easy to miss a puppy that someone put in your car. Sure glad I "found" that puppy in... Read more →

See You This Tuesday

Maybe other people would find it depressing to live alone in a pet-free house after a breakup, but I gotta tell you, I just loves it. That's a line from The Color Purple. Celie asks Shug how Shug can stand... Read more →

Because God wouldn't have invented fish sticks if he didn't want us to love them

Apparently all my blog is going to be, now, is unsmiling selfies. I plan to feature unsmiling selfie of the day, which should annoy the CRAP out of that wingnut Kelly who reads and hates me. If I had the... Read more →

Wherefore art thou, rodeo?

Sometimes I feel like I'm the last blogger. Back in 2008, everybody had a freaking blog. Now it's crickets out there. And let's face it, I'm not really that stick-to-it kind of a gal. But here I still am. Officially... Read more →