Bye Bye, Pie!

What stupid, horrific personality do YOU have?

Today we're all gonna take a personality test and report the results here. I will tell you what you all said tomorrow. Please answer me by 9 p.m. Eastern time today. Google "What time is it in Eastern time?" if... Read more →

In which I've totally become Linda Richman

Sadly, I have a deadline to meet before I go to work today (dudes, I KNOW) (can you DIE from proofreading?), so I leave you with a simple question. Who is worse, people who think they're smart but really aren't,... Read more →

Really, Cezanne's fruit never does it for me

Once again I gots no time to blog. Today I have to scream over to Der Vagen Haus, or maybe it's Wagen Haus, whichever, to get my car fixed. One good thing about working ALL THE TIME is I can... Read more →

Ask Dick Whitman's mom and you shall receive

A few days ago, we ("we." I totally stole the idea from a reader) decided to write in our questions for Dick Whitman's mom. In case you are just tuning in, and really? I've been here almost SIX YEARS. I... Read more →

A crucial Pieces of Wisdom

Let's face it. I am not happy with my coffee situation. I mean, first of all, I have to have half-decaf, which is insulting enough. But then awhile back my coffeemaker broke, so my mother gave me hers, but then... Read more →

Okay, SERIOUSLY no time today

Went to the BookUp again last night. May or may not have gone with ...friend. May or may not have stayed out too late. May or may not have LOOMING DEADLINE. This may or may not be my pal Jo... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: You got your mind on your money and your money on your mind.

I wonder how many people out there desperately wish I would refer to song lyrics from this decade, just once. I will. When I figure out I like some songs in this decade, next decade. Anyway, don't be fooled by... Read more →

Pieces of Wi$dom. Do you like what I did, there?

I have to go, because I have a job interview in a few hours and they want me to bring a copy of my resume even though I sent it to them in the first place and I have NO... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom. Gone with the Febreze.

We pretty much don't need a lot of dry-erase board use for yesterday's Pieces of Wisdom question, which was how much do you enjoy socializing and how much do you enjoy staying in. This is good, because as you can... Read more →

Sadly, every Tuesday is fat Tuesday, over here. Oh, but I brought Pieces O' Wizzdom back!

When did Monster become such a crappy site? It used to be the first place I'd go to look for jobs, and now they list nothing. What happened to it? Does anyone have any good ideas for looking for jobs?... Read more →

Life has its perks, Steve Jobs is dead and that's sad, and it's Snowing at the pound

Dear Mr. Steve Jobs, Thank you for the cool computer. And phone. And iPod. And stuff. Love, June In other news-- I got a percolator! At least one of you told me to in the comments so I threw caution... Read more →

Van Gardens

Guess who cannot wait for her stupid Wen to get here? What hair? Good gravy. My large hair and I have a date tonight. With a whole new boy. I will let you know if (a) I am killed on... Read more →

Corncob wisdom

Tallulah ate a corn cob that she found in the road on our walk, and even though I said, "DROP IT!" she did not right away. I mean, you find something good like that, you gotta ignore your mom. The... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom

I inexplicably bring back Pieces of Wisdom to ask: What the hell happened to my quiet, undramatic life, and how can I get it back? Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: Let's pretend we're half-dead!

Sometimes people post interesting things on Facebook. Not often, mind you. Usually what they post is drivel, including the part where they inadvertently let all of us know they don't actually know the word "drivel." "Watching Dancing With the Stars.... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: Your Family Secrets Spilled

we gots no secrets. all we do is shed on cowch. that no secret. Yesterday I asked you to reveal your funny family stories and you all came out in droves. Which leads me to wonder if any of your... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: Your Dumb Family

My uncle emailed me this weekend to tell me a little story. It seems he and my Aunt Kathy used to live next door to this guy named Dick, who had a bronze car. They were out in a crowded... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday: Let me be perfectly clear. And stuff like that.

Oh, I love it when we explore our crabby sides. Yesterday I asked all y'all to mention the petty things that bug you, and it is a shame you hardly had any. I was on the phone (let me put... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: Tom Petty

Marvin came over Monday afternoon to take Tallulah to the vet, just to ensure nothing dreadful was happening on her innards--her tough, no-nonsense Pit Bull innards--after having been slammed into with a Volkswagen Bug and all. She had been walking... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: What's to Eat?

I watched it happen. It was like slow motion, if slow motion happened really fast. Tallulah was all cuddling up with me this morning, and I was hugging her big neckeldy. Edsel was at the foot of the bed, because... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday--Hulk Knits for Love

In what is sure to be the absolute worst collection of photos ever shown in this already shoddily photographed blog, below are some pics symbolizing your suggestions from yesterday's Pieces of Wisdom query: "How can my pal Hulk meet women?"... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom--Get Hulk a Woman

Today's Pieces of Wisdom topic is a deep and important one, as per usual, but before I begin, I must tell you some things, of course, because I never shut up. I was walking the dogs (and who has had... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom and also June's many many many euphemisms

Yes, it IS Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday, but so many of you have written in and said, "I'd really like to hear more about the intricacies of June's girl parts." Okay. No one has ever written that, ever. In four... Read more →

Pieces of Fat Tuesday

In an attempt to think about ANYTHING ELSE besides the depressing state of my life, today is Fat Tuesday, which for me is every Tuesday, and who misses Topamax? So, tomorrow starts the official Lenten season, and I like to... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday: Break on through to the other side

I asked all y'all all everyone to put up with me saying "all 'y'all all everyone," and also to do something sort of courageous for today's Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday. I asked you to write in and say something nice... Read more →

Play nicely

Is it just me, or is everybody getting angrier? Jane Russell died. She was an actress in the '30s and '40s, and she had the bangin' body, and she dated Howard Hughes, and she was a legend and all that.... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: What time is it? It's time to get depressed.

Okay, thanks, Marvin. In case you are just tuning in, yesterday I let Marvin come up with our weekly Pieces of Wisdom question, and he asked, "What was your worst Valentine's Day, ever?" because he has a cheery personality like... Read more →

Pieces of Sodium

In case you were up all night tossing and turning, the pot roast turned out fine. NEEDED A LITTLE SALT, but otherwise fine. Which reminds me. Attached please find the multipaged Valentine's Day card I made for Marvin, proving once... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom Wednesday--Now we know you at all over. I know that makes little sense.

Perhaps you're saying, Gee. I wish I knew someone as high-tech and fancy as June. You don't. Deal with it. Above is my fine map of the United States, showing where my readers are. If it's green, someone is reading... Read more →

Pieces of Wisdom: Global Positioning Version

Last night I did that thing I do where I immediately fall asleep like a log, then maybe an hour later wake up again. I say "maybe" an hour later because I'm Helen Keller and can never tell what time... Read more →

Pieces of Tasteful Wisdom: June's Ball

Oh, you all came up with BEAUTIFUL ideas for Edsel's neutering party! You should all be professional neutering party planners. Which now that I think of it, someone said in the comments, as well. I have no original thoughts. You... Read more →