Bye Bye, Pie!

June gives it up early. When I post this to FB, about 17 of my exes will nod their damn heads.

I'm just now forming the thought that all this time I've been feeding Steely Dan too much. I thought he was much younger, and those oh-so-easy-to-read instructions on his canned food said to feed him three times a day. But... Read more →

Does my new blog design go with these shoes?

I make the same kind of joke every time I get a new design, don't I? And actually, this one isn't done yet; we're still gonna update a few things here and there. Pretty, though, right? Remember when it was... Read more →

Are you reading this dumb blog? Tell me!

I had to get to work early today, because my car. I had to take it to the shop, and Ned had to drop me off, which means I got here at, like, 5 a.m. So because I'm here I... Read more →

Oh my stars

Is there any phrase more useless than "As you may or may not know"? Really, what is the point of saying that? So, as you may or may not know, on Facebook there is a fan page of this blog... Read more →

I would marry Anne Lamott would she have me

I'm looking up inspirational quotes for work, and found this one. For everyone who's ever gotten pissed about what I've written about them: Read more →

I'm a narcissist!

I was driving home from Ned's when I saw one of those horrid stick-figure families on the back of a car. I cannot tell you how I abhor those narcissistic things, says the woman who blogs about herself every day.... Read more →

My Unnatural History

The fun thing about having a blog is the part where I get to take a lot of pictures of myself and pretend it's "for my blog" when you know perfectly well most times I just blow those photos up... Read more →

Sasha Fierce

Have you noticed we never get to hear about Dooce's divorce or whether she's dating anyone? I mean, I splayed out all my personal bidness straightaway as soon as there was anything interesting to tell, but she seems to spend... Read more →

Does my new blog design make me look fat?

I totally used that line LAST time I redesigned my blog. Anyway, you like it? I'm still playing with the wallpaper, but I love the banner. The other day in the comments I mentioned how my last design had been... Read more →

Only service animals permitted.

I wish you all were here right now, which might get crowded and I haven't nearly enough dip, but I cannot BEGIN to tell you how idiotic the dogs are being and I wish you could just see it. There... Read more →

Stick a fork in it

So, I've decided to stop blogging. I know! The only people I've told are ...friend and Marvin, who both said, "Oh, you are not." I mean, for five years, five months, and nine days, I have blogged constantly. I posted... Read more →

Seeing Yourself as Others Do

I was looking at Dooce's blog, as I am wont to do, and she did the thing I like where she links to a bunch of stuff that's interesting. Once of the things she linked to was this. What do... Read more →

A post about a post about not commenting on posts. P.S. "Post"

I wish I could tell you how much I adore my friend Chatting. I just do. Go read this. I couldn't have said it better myself. Literally, because she is a better writer than me, and a better person. Oh,... Read more →

with Turkey

Edsel just stuck his tongue in my mouth while I was yawning. He is disgusting. edzul very attract to mom. mom irriztible. in her graa rowbe. He's right. I am sort of irriztible in this gray robe. I may have... Read more →

In which June becomes an adult. hah!

Your gal, June, here, just woke up. Am I 17? I was out till quite late with ...friend, and let's discuss what a grownup I am. I mean other than the part where I got home after 2:00 and just... Read more →

Despair!

I have many issues, pressing issues of our time, to get to today. My dogs' playdate, and yes the word "playdate" irritates me; the winnah of the caption contest; the new comment of the week; my fancy nomination for best... Read more →

June goes to her very special place

I am totally not packed even remotely, because I am well-prepared that way. But I have packed in my MIND. Then? I will get in the car and enjoy my Sirius radio. And a mere five hours later? I will... Read more →

Dear Ginny...

I am weak. WEAK, I tell you. From the laughing. One of my commentors told me to go on Damn You Autocorrect, and I demand that you all stampede from my blog and look at it now. Goodbye. For those... Read more →

How popular is my blog?

I have never been ambitious about this blog. I mean, I wanted people to read it and everything, but once people did, I was all, okay good. But last night we had a big storm and I wasn't gonna go... Read more →

Linkin Nebraska

Often, people say to me, "Have you read that Hyperbole and a Half"? and I am all, "No" because I am completely self-centered and why would I want to read another blog? Besides, I love Miss Doxie even though she... Read more →

In which I threaten to poop my eyeballs

I have said it in the comments. I have said it on Facebook. I have replied to your 202484010 emails. Other than going to each of your houses and having coffee with you to discuss, I do not know what... Read more →

A hodgepodge. A cornucopia. A crazy quilt. And other annoying phrases to indicate that I have 80 topics today.

I have had many odds and ends, or odds 'n' ends, because you know how I like that, to tell you. This time to mark them all off I will use background-singer noises. Mmmmmmm! Yesterday I threw caution to the... Read more →

June-y

This is one of my favorite pictures ever. I love how my earrings match the, you know, tower. It was 1990 and I was 25 and in Paris, on a Ferris wheel. I had the world by the tail. Why... Read more →

I hate computers

My hatred of trying to make buttons is exceeded only by my hatred of Typepad, which is exceeded only by my HATRED OF $#@%%&&*#$ $$#&$&#$@@&# Feedburner. If anyone really knows how to get stupid stupid stupid Feedburner to work, please... Read more →

Manly yes, but I like it too.

I was perusing other blogs tonight, trying to find new ones to read. I found some nice ones, and I also came to the conclusion that every blogger on earth who has a child whose real name she does not... Read more →

Amber is the color of your energy

I was putting away the Christmas decorations yesterday, and I found this photo in the attic. It's one of the nine million aura pictures I had taken through the years, because I know you will be shocked to learn they... Read more →

If sleigh bells were ringing, really, how could you NOT listen?

Ooo, we're supposed to get a big storm today or tomorrow! I'm so upcited! It never snows here, you know. This is my third winter here and it'll be the third time it's snowed. I have nowhere to go except... Read more →

I want you to know. I will NEVER be organized about my blog topics

First and foremost, here is my Christmas mug of the day. Du jour of the day. When I waitressed, I used to love it when people asked what the soup du jour of the day was. I never felt superior... Read more →

Limp-wristed

Well, you know you had a good birthday when you barf in the hallway at 2:00 in the morning. Poor Tallulah. No more birthday treats for her. I had to interrupt my regularly scheduled broadcast yesterday for Tallulah's birthday, but... Read more →

Swamped

Got relatives coming tomorrow, and old friend arriving today, and 600,000 pages to proof. So here, go read these: My oldest friend started a blog about her flowers: Click here. And Blue Poppy's back! She's been gone for a year.... Read more →

Dr. Dreee

The other day, I went on Facebook--and what is the world coming to, that people are BLOGGING about what they say in FACEBOOK? It's like when talk-show hosts interview each other. Anyway, I announced to the world of Facebook that... Read more →